EPILOGUE ~ THE BANANA KISS
"We come, we do, we go, and the doing
can be a rather grand voyage if you don't panic and
if you believe, as I believe, in magic and
imagination and wizards who live along quiet
country roads."
--Robert James Waller
Have you ever met someone so magical that something about the encounter, no matter how brief, left you with a memory forever etched into the sacred spaces of your heart? Well, just such an encounter happened to me in May of 1991 during a lunch break from a conference I
was teaching held at Newington Children's Hospital in Connecticut. Dr. Jim Monahan, Director of Psychology, invited me to go on rounds with him to visit the children who were there for treatment. While walking through the hallways, we came upon an enchanting, copper-skinned girl of about five years of age who was sitting across froma nurse's station. She had a sunshine smile, large, round twinkling eyes the color of deep chocolate, and brown curly pigtails. Although she was strapped into a wheelchair and didn't seem to have the use of her lower body, she was
able to talk and to use her upper body quite well. On her lunch tray was a half-eaten sandwich, two cookies, milk, and a banana. The nurse told me that she usually took a very long time to eat and indicated that perhaps I could encourage her to finish her lunch. I felt so captivated
by the presence of this little pigtailed doll, that I filed the nurse's request away in the back of my mind. I squatted down to meet her at eye level. "Hello, my name is Joyce; what's your name?" I thought I heard her reply, "My name is Delores," so I responded by saying, "Delores, what a beautiful name." "NO," she quipped back at me, "My name is not Delores, my name is DEMORES!" "Ohhh," I replied. "Of course, Demores -- that is even a better name just for you." She must have liked that response because little Demores twinked her eyes and
flashed a bright smile back at me.
After talking with Demores a bit about what she liked to do and then about the delicious looking lunch on her tray, she glanced toward an empty chair next to her, then she looked at me, then back at the empty chair. With a bit of pouting, a puffed-out lower lip, and a pleading tone in her voice, Demores said "I surrre would like it if someone would keep me company . . . if someone would have lunch with me" . . . all the while glancing at the chair and then back at me. Demores repeated her suggestion again. I smiled as I inwardly thought, "Ah, the good-old Gestalt therapy Œempty-chair' technique and she never even took a formal class."
I glanced at Jim as if to ask if we had time to stay, but he signaled it was time for us to get back to the workshop. Not wanting to leave abruptly, I took the cookie she offered, and then I tried to employ a therapy approach that usually is effective in helping kids with separation. I asked if she had an imaginary friend or a favorite cartoon character who could keep her company. But you see, Demores was a lot smarter than me. Emphatically she shook her head and with a loud voice she said, "NO, I want a REAL somebody, not a make-believe somebody."
Jim then stepped in and explained to her that we had to go back to the auditorium, that I was there to teach about storytelling and that this was our special time to have a short visit with the children in the hospital, but that I couldn't stay. I also told Demores how much I wished I could sit and share lunch with her, but that I just couldn't
stay. Inside I felt a secret wish that I could have fulfilled her request, but it truly was time for me to get going.
Before I left, I asked Demores if I could give her a good-bye kiss. "No," she said with a pouting tone. I then asked if I could perhaps throw her a kiss. With her pigtails swaying back and forth, and her lips pursed together, she shook her head from side to side, indicating a definite "NO" once again. Of course, I realized that if she accepted the kiss it meant she would have to acknowledge the good-bye and she didn't want to do that . . . she wanted me to stay.
For some reason the uneaten banana on her tray drew my attention and sparked an idea. I told her that just in case she should want a kiss later, I would leave one for her in a special place. Demores looked at me with a lilt of curiosity as if to say, "Now Joyce, how are you going
to do that?"
I then lifted the banana slowly, leaned all the way down, kissed the tray, and then gently replaced the banana over the kiss. Looking softly into her eyes I said, "You know Demores, every once in a while everyone wants to have a kiss, so I'm gonna leave this kiss for you right here under the banana. Maybe sometime later, I don't know when, you may want it . . . and all you'll need to do is lift the banana and the kiss will be right there waiting for you. I waved good-bye, and as Jim and I began to walk away, I turned my head to glance back at the nurse's station where Demores was still sitting. Demores leaned toward the tray and looked curiously at the banana. Slowly she reached forward with her little hand, lifted the banana, and rested her cheek on the very spot where I had placed the kiss. Demores smiled a heartfelt smile, because of course, the kiss was there . . . just where I had left it.
That short time with Demores provided me with a moment of magic that will remain with me always. It showed me that during those times when we feel most unloved or alone, when we feel fear gripping our very souls, we need to remember to look for the reconnection to faith . . .
to the magic of life. . . to our heartsongs . . . to our souls . . . because you see, the kiss is always there . . . we just have to take the time to look for it.
To All My Relations
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